That is to say, if a bulletin of equivalent length were generated once per millisecond since the Big Bang, a veteran bookie would still take a snowflake’s chance in hell over you ever reading this message. You’ll have over 4,500 zeroes to the right of the decimal before a natural number rears its head. Illustrated mathematically, one simply takes the reciprocal of the 88 character options on a standard-issue ape typewriter to the power of the 2,339 characters in this message.
Not even a millionth of a millionth of a part per million chance. The odds of this: galactically improbable. They say if you give a monkey infinite time… well, infinity has arrived early! Raindrops on a tin roof singing the national anthem in Morse code. While what you’re reading may appear to be a dispatch penned with sentience, intent and situational awareness, it is nothing of the sort! It is, rather, an eventuality of typewritten chaos. That is to say, it’s happened! The captive chimpanzees’ pecking has finally borne fruit. (The “I” in this case not referring to anyone in particular as this letter, and as such, I, the facsimile essence of a correspondent, are just the borderline-inconceivable product of coincidence). To whom it may concern… I write to you from Moncton’s Magnetic Hill Zoo with a miracle. Third Prize winner of the 16th Annual Geist Literal Literary Postcard Story Contest
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